To the Mothers: I see you

No one talks about the different parts of you trying to heal as you move on. Some of us are trying to heal from a relationship that ended, divorce and in my case, have children involved. It’s a difficult process, raising little ones while you’re trying to heal. A part of you feels sorry that they have to experience this version of you, while another part of you is grateful they get to witness the strength you have to continue on.

As a mother in this position you begin to think of how different things will be for your children. You start to wonder how it will affect their well being and how to transition as smoothly as possible. An entire journey of divorce followed by maintaining your role as mother. It’s a roller coaster ride to say the least- but mama I see you.

Aside from the constant concern for your little ones watching, there is the battle of healing yourself. You come face to face with the past version of who you were in previous relationships. You question your worth. Was I enough? Did I do enough? Why didn’t they stay? You question who you are and your contribution in it. Feeling buried under these false negative thoughts of yourself.

It seems like an endless battle learning how to fight those demons that spiral in your head. A combination of remembering past versions of you with words that were exchanged. But if there’s anything that comes of it, I hope you know it set you free.

Sometimes you won’t get all the answers you’re looking for. And even if you get answers, you probably won’t find the peace or closure you’re looking for. I wish I could say there was. The good news is it all starts with you. The peace comes from truly accepting and letting go of the past because YOU deserve it. You have to accept what the past versions of you endured and understand that she was only surviving what she knew. To have compassion for those past versions of you to say, “It’s okay” and you don’t have to ever be sorry for her. Because she is the exact version that survived to bring you here.

I want you to embrace your healing journey and become the woman you envision when you close your eyes. The mother you want your children to always remember. The prime example of going after absolutely everything you want. Having the courage to live and to love knowing there’s challenges in both. Because from the bottom of my heart. There is nothing more in this world that I cherish to give than love. I am still learning patience and how to give myself to the right people, I just haven’t come across the right one yet. But despite the heart breaks I still find courage to try again. And if there’s anything I hope my girls see it's how to give that love to yourself.