Self Discovery: I Hope This Finds You

Brianna Wiest said, "We can create to express experience. We can create to make people feel heard and understood. We can create to heal ourselves, and extend that healing outward."

The Beginning: I Hope This Finds You

The question I believe most may be wondering at this point is how did I get here. And I will keep my how short, simple, and sweet. It started with young love that blossomed into a marriage and a beautiful family. But after a 13 year relationship it became unhealthy for the two of us, which is something I struggled to accept until recently.

This moment was my life changing event. You think you have so much control over what is to come in your life that sometimes the universe comes in to remind you that’s never the case. It felt like the rug was pulled from under me and I had no clue where to begin. That crashing feeling that you’ve lost control and spiral down with negative thoughts. I began to question myself, my worth, my existence. I was codependent with zero idea of who “Chelsea” was.

There was more to my experience with being a mother, expecting another one on the way. I was just finishing nursing school when my world was flipped upside down. And in that moment I had to choose. Despite how challenging and painful it was I had little eyes watching me and it is because of them I am here. I aspired to show my children the strength they have. That although you experience pain, there is something beautiful that could come of it. It’s cliche to say everything happens for a reason. But the truth is I wouldn’t be where I am today without going through the pain. My personal view is there are no “bad things” that happen to you. They are experiences that force you to evolve into the person you’re meant to be. Ever evolving, day in and day out.

For months I teetered between the seven stages of grief. Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and processing grief. It’s no wonder they say healing isn’t linear. Some days I would feel like I’ve reached acceptance and plummet right back to anger. But healing has an interesting way of working itself out.

I began to envision the woman I wanted to become. Intertwining all roles in my life. A mother, a full time employee but this time emphasizing my own self discovery. Who I am, what I enjoy, my values and how to process what I am feeling.

If you asked me a year ago who I am and what I enjoyed I couldn’t give you an answer. It’s not that I didn’t have those things but rather lost sight of myself in everyday roles as a wife and a mother. They are both beautiful roles in themselves but they consume so much of you that it’s easy to lose sight of yourself. I can’t be the only one who has stopped in the midst of all of it to say “Where did that version of me go? I want to get back to HER.”

I say all of this to tell you she’s in there. Maybe covered up in years of overlap of different versions of yourself. But she never left. The goal is to uncover those layers to reconnecting to yourself. There is power in your most difficult times. You can absolutely have it all. You can be an incredible mother, have a career that you love and most importantly prioritize you. Prioritizing space for yourself allows you to remain true to yourself. This is how you excel in all other aspects of your life. When you reconnect to yourself all areas of your life blossom because you are standing in your truth.

Brianna Wiest: When You're Ready, This is How You Heal