Therapy: Where to start

The effects of a relationship ending can be detrimental on ones mental health. The overanalyzing of the situation can become overwhelming and exhausting. It is easy to get lost in the emotions and place blame on yourself, but this is where the deepest learning takes place. Relationships ending are an opportunity to reflect on yourself. To turn inwards on the person you currently are and want to become. After my divorce I comlpetely lost myself, entirely. Who I was alone, what I enjoyed to do, and what my purpose was. I spent a lot of time trying to find an answer in what went wrong and placed a lot of blame on myself. It wasn't until I determined my why that I was able to collect myself. My children have and always will be my why and because of them I am here to share my story with you.

We have all heard of the stigma behind therapy. Feeling shameful or embarrassed at the thought of weakness or inability to manage life. I spent a lot of my years being in and out of therapy due to the idea that therapy was only needed for difficult times. The truth is I was able to do some of the deepest reflection on my "good days". Three years in and it has become my most sacred space. A place where I am able to organize my thoughts and continuously learn to better myself. The key in therapy is finding a therapist you can connect with and remaining consistent. The work does not happen overnight, and it doesn't magically make your issues disappear. But it brings something far more powerful. It allows you to hone in on your thought process, unconscious mind, and reflect on your experiences. Through my healing journey I have found joy in my self awarenss and mindfulness. It is where I have connected with myself on a deeper level of self discovery.

Where to start:

• Goals: what do you want to achieve? Improve mental health, recovering from trauma, adjusting to a new life phase

• Preference: what are you comfortable with? Male or female therapist. Virtual or in person.

• Specialization: treating particiular conditions such as anxiety or depression. Counseling for grief, divorce, or children.

• Budget/ Insurance: Look into your insurance first to determine therapist that are eligable. If paying out of pocket discuss if a sliding scale is available.

Therapist are not a one size fits all. It is okay if you don't connect with the first or second therapist you meet. Consider what you are comfortable with and utilize your resources.

Fight the Stigma:

• Start with yourself: speak openly and have a healthy outlook on your therapy process.

• Normalize therapy: connect with others and share experience.

• Educate yourself: learn about causes and treatment options.

• Show compassion: you don't know the battles people are facing and they don't owe you an explanation. Free hugs are my go to :)